What would you do if you were not afraid?

This lovely post from the uber talented Lesley got me thinking -what would i do if I were not afraid? If I was not afraid of failing or falling short, of losing out, of being judged or hated or (the worst) disapproved of, of being broke or homeless, of losing family or friends and finally, if I was not afraid of falling back into the deep dark bell jar?

Ponder this for a moment – what is the worst that could happen? The things I’ve listed above are indeed terrible things – losing your loved ones or all your possessions, being perceived as a bad person, even by yourself. But what are the chances that doing the things you want to do will end in these catastrophic events? If you really think about it, the chances are pretty slim.

So I have decided to come up with a list of things that I want to do, the reasons I am afraid to them and the chances of anything really bad happening if I take that risk weighed against the benefits of success.

If I were not afraid I would start creating my own jewelry and selling it at markets and on etsy. I am afraid that no one will like my designs, that I will buy a heap of equipment that I can’t pay off because I don’t make any money selling my pieces, that I will be bad at making jewelry – that I wont learn the techniques and my art will suck.

What is the worst that could happen? I lose some money. If I limit my outlay to a few hundred dollars that I can easy pay back within a few weeks of my normal job I’m not going to beggar myself. Plus the money I save from buying store jewelry for myself and presents will be about the same as what i spend on equipment. If no one likes my pieces I can give them away as presents to relatives that have to appreciate them, or I can keep them for myself or give them to charity. Good marketing will mean that someone somewhere will want to bu my designs though – it’s just a matter of getting the stuff out there. If I’m no good at creating jewelry I will just have to take a course and buy some books and spend more time looking at jewelry online for inspiration.

If I do a tafe course in jewelry not only will it give me better skills but also a qualification that could lead to an apprenticeship if I ever want to make this more than a hobby. If I get good at making and selling my art I could make enough money to work in precious metals, creating beautiful unique pieces that people beg me to buy. I could wear gorgeous jewels that I created myself and keep some for my family and friends as beloved presents. Everyone would be after my jewelry.

If I were not afraid I would speak with a lot of natural therapists about the best way to get a job, perhaps asking one of them to be a mentor for me or doing occasional reception work. I am afraid of rejection, that people who have studied natural therapies will think I am not spiritual enough or natural enough (when I get a headache I take ibuprofen, not willowbark). I am afraid that no one will want to talk to me, that I will look stupid or unprofessional, that no one will give me a chance or want me to work for them. I am afraid that people will judge me for asking for work instead of paying for a course, that I will look cheap or like I want to swindle people.

The worst that could happen is that some people don’t want to help me, for whatever reason, and this is something that I cannot change. All I can do is be honest and open about what I want and what help I need. Hopefully, if I look hard enough (and don’t stop looking if someone rejects me due to their own close-mindedness) I will find what I am looking for – a teacher.

I can also work more on practising what I preach – implementing more natural techniques like yoga and actually taking classes in order to meet like minded people who can help me on my path. I could meet some lovely people who are kind and helpful and give me good advice about what is the best way to begin practising natural therapies – someone could even offer me a job and to sponsor my education in this field. Also I could make new friends who are happy to have me practise on them. Eventually I will get my qualifications and when I do I will have a large network of friends and associates who are more than willing to recommend me to clients and help me set up my own successful clinic.

If I were not afraid, I would start getting wood together to start making hope chests and bookshelves. I am afraid that I will not be able to make these, that it will be too hard or that once I make them they will be inferior and no one will want them. Again I am afraid of the money and time outlay, the space and whether I will get bored and give up.

The worst that could happen if I end up with half a shed full of unused tools (that are quite expensive) and rotting wood, or half finished projects, or finished projects that no one wants, with Adam judging me for wasting time and money. But if I focus, I will get it done. I need to start a timetable – a daily planner that has my work roster, time for chores, writing, exercise, reading and working on projects. Even if I only work on it twice a week that will be enough to get things done and convince Adam that it’s not a waste of time and money. If no one wants my things then I can always use extra chests and bookshelves myself or give them to family or charity. The library has plenty of woodwork books and the local Bunnings does demonstrations quite often where I could meet people who also do woodwork that could possibly critique and encourage me. If I ask my family for some of the larger tools for Christmas and work with only a few tools until I know I can sell stuff then there will be little original cash outlay, so I wouldn’t be losing any money.

Eventually I could move onto bigger and better furniture – furnishing my whole house in original handmade woodwork. I could give presents that will be cherished and passed on through generations and sell enough to be able to work in gorgeous woods. In the long run, I could even grow my own wood sustainably at our farm, to work into wonderful furnishings that are treasured by whoever owns them.

This is only three things that I’ve had on the back-burner for a few years now, never wanting to take the plunge. Once I have written them out like this I am realising that it’s not so scary – the world is not going to spin the other way if something doesn’t work. the worst off I could be is a bit out of pocket and have some people unwilling to help me. Not nearly as bad as I had built it up to be.

I encourage everyone to do this exercise yourself. Think of a few things you are afraid to do – it could be little, like my things here, or big deal things like leaving a bad relationship or moving to a new country. Ask yourself what you are afraid to do and then what is the worst that could happen if you did it? The very worst. Now counter that – what could you do to prevent or reverse the worst from happening? Then add the positive steps – what would happen if everything turned out perfectly. It’s quite liberating and very encouraging – I’m going to start yoga classes next week in an effort to meet some people who could possibly help me with my natural therapy yearnings.

Places to go.

Part of my desire to become a better person was embracing my wish to be more creative in my every day life and tr to draw or write something every day. I have a moleskin notebook (Thanks to Gala for insisting that every person should carry one) which I bought off Ebay and carry with me everywhere, along with a few pens and pencils so I can create whenever the mood takes me.

This is yesterday’s effort – a simple list of places around the world I want to see and what I want to do there. It was written at the DMV while Adam was doing his test to get his license back – click on the picture for the bigger, more readable version.

Today is Buy Nothing Day. In an attempt to lower their ecological footprint, people worldwide are attempting to spend one day without purchasing anything. I think this is a great idea. I had to run down and grab washing powder late last night and I’m going to refuse to go near a shop all day just to avoid temptation.

It’s so easy to consume. Advertising is everywhere, making products that we probably don’t need seem ever so tempting. My son watches cartoons of a morning and every advertisement is for a new plastic wrapped toy or refined foodstuff that he simply must have because it was endorsed by some cartoon character. Convinience is also a big thing for me – popping down to my local IGA for late night groceries to whip up for dinner instead of doing a weekly shop or getting pizza and dvds because I’m too tired to cook and entertain myself.

So today I am joining the anti-consumerism revolution – will you come too?